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I sat on our bed and watched as Chris dressed up. It was a Friday and so I knew I wouldn’t see him that night.

I stood up and sat in front of the mirrow putting my make up kit on the table, getting to it as I hummed to a song.
” so where are you going this time of the day?” I heard him ask. For a minute I ignored him until I felt his hand touching my shoulders roughly. ” hey am talking to you Stella” he scolded loudly.
” touch me that rough again I swear am gonna sue you for battery.” I snarled angrily. ” the last time I checked you and I do what we please in this house so there is no need for you to start questioning me like that. It’s Friday Chris, or have you forgotten?” I sighed patting my face with powder.
” i am a man Stella, don’t you dare compare yourself to me. Your are a damn woman” he crawled angrily.
I kept quite. I wasn’t going to let him spoil my night. I had a date with James and I wasn’t going to spoil it with getting upset.
James had given me a call the following day after our meeting at the pool. I definitely knew he would call. His lustful look was so evident the time I was leaving him. Since then I had met him for more than a couple of days.
I took one last look at my eye brows, satisfied I looked Good, I stood up and pulled down my short skirt and placed the heels on my feet.
All the time Chris had sat down watching me.
” if you are tired of this marriage, you go ahead and devorce me” I smiled and before I walked away he held my hand and pulled me towards him.
” if that’s your wish so that you can go out with your silly boyfriends then you are wrong Stella. Am never going to give you that pleasure.” He snapped
I smiled and sighed calmly. ” Good, suit yourself, everything you decide works for me” I shrugged.
” let go of my hand Chris am going to be late. And I bet you should be going too. Patty must be waiting ” I mentioned the name of the girl who used to call me and insult me. Telling me that I sucked in bed no wonder my husband left me or her. I saw Chris’s face frown and he let me go.
As I drove my small car a Toyota IST which I got from my savings since I never used my salary for either food( Chris catered for that) nor clothes and other items which I had other guys take care of.
My mind wild back to how it all started.
Chris had gone out on his usual outings. Like a good wife I was then I sat in the living room waiting for him to return home. I kept on glancing at the watch as time clocked from minute, to hours and i noticed it was past 03 am. I tried his line but it was off.
Getting worried sick I paced around the house.
” oh God we have been married for only a year, please don’t let anything bad happen to my dear husband” I said a prayer.
I was starting to loose hope and thinking of going to report to the police just in case Chris was involved in some kind of accident or maybe robbed.
The sound of the hard knock on the door startled me and I ran to the door my heart racing.
Opening the door, I found Chris so drunk holding some bottles of beer in his hands. He couldn’t walk properly.
I helped in inside and he smiled holding on to me. ” Stella honey, you still awake” he murmered as he struggled to keep his eyes
Open. I wondered how he drove back home.
” Chris what is the meaning of this?” I asked when he was sober. ” You have started coming home late, no in the morning what is going on?” I asked calmly.
” every sane man needs some time out, you don’t have to go all fusy with all this. Just get used to the idea that I will not stay in doors like a slave dog. Am a man and I find pleasure in having some time out with friends. You know, catching up and sharing ideas” he added.
I tried to reason with him to at least to be becoming back early. ” it is not only good for a married man Chris but also dangerous. You have no idea how sick worried I was yesterday just to have you coming back at 05 in th morning.”
From that day things had changed, he never reasoned with me on anything concerning his social life. I started washing off ladies powders and lipsticks from his shirts. He would receive mid night calls and texts from different women.
I had tried to complain to some of his aunties and they all encouraged me to say he would change. I had to make him grow, but I started lossing patience over time.
He was taking my trying to help him do the right thing as nagging.
My best friend Susan encouraged me to be committed to God. We went for church prayers, entered into prayer and fasting but it was like the more I tried to make him and pray for his change, the more he went further away from me.
The fact that I wasn’t giving him a child made every thing worse as my husband told me point blank he had nothing to stay home for. All his friends had kids and blamed me for being barren.
I was lost in thoughts thinking about my life when I spotted Jame’ s range rover. He had parked outside Villa Excetive lodge.
I sighed and took a quick look at my face before I moved out of my car.
As I passed the reception I spotted him seated in the corner with a glass of wine in front of him.
” HI!” He called me out standing and pulling the chair for me to sit in.
” sorry am late” I faked a smile. I wasn’t so much in the mood that night but I had to get myself going.
” it’s fine dear I understand obviously ladies take longer to finish Preparing themselves.” He chuckled.
” so, James tell me something about your wife” I cut in after some minutes of talking about nothing in particular.
He sat up looking at me. I don’t get you Stella, even last time we talked about my family. Why do you insist on knowing about my family? He asked placing down his glass of wine.
” well I want to understand why a man of your status, with 3 beautiful children and a wife is out here at this time of the day with me” I calmly explained seeing his face drop down the table.
” what kind of woman do you have for a wife James. Please if you care about me let’s chat a little more about this” I smiled rubbing his hand with mine gently as I kept my eyes at him.
He seemed uncomfortable but after a few minutes he sat back and relaxed.
” My wife,” he started
” she’s so nice, we have been married for over 15 years and she has never burdened me with anything. She manages out money well, she goes an extra mile for my family members to educate them and help them here and there. Our children are well mannered I bet it’s all her doing.”
I watched in silence as James talked about how wonderful his wife was. Tears running down my face as I saw his face brighten up. It was like he didn’t even realise it till then what he was losing.
He finished talking and I saw him frown sadly. ” she’s an Angel but all I have done is eye other women. I don’t know what is wrong with me Stella.” He whispered desperately looking at me his eyes with sincerity.
I wiped the tear from my eyes. Took a deep breath and looked back at him. ” tell me one more thing James. If you found your wife with another man somewhere. Let’s say taking some drinks like we are doing. How can you feel? And what can you do?” I paused deliberately waiting for him to digest my question.
” I..i..i am ..i don’t know how I would react but I surely will be disappointed and maybe devorce her.”
” good” I sat back looking at him.
He then looked sharply at me realising my point. ” who are you?” He made some wrinkles on in his face as he stared at me.
I smiled slightly “Let’s just say am a married-single woman who got tired of living the kind of life that you are subjecting your wife to.”
” imagine I was your wife and you another man. Holding and touching you like this,” I bent forward my hand going down his thighs.
” imagine James, I was your wife and I am rubbing another man so gently as his face turned with desire to lay with me, Imagine your wife laying down the bed as another man pushes himself slowly and gently inside her making her cry some soft moans of pleasure. Imagine her shouting another man’s name as she closes her eyes. Appreciating another man’s body, comparing it to yours and thinking the guy before her is just what she needs and not you, imagine……….”
I couldn’t finish my sentence and James stood up abruptly pushing the table.
” stop it damn it! Who sent you to me? Huh? tell me, did my wife send you to seduce me and later on tell me all this staff. I swear if I find out she planned all this I will make you both pay!” He snapped his face full of fury.
I stood up slowly facing him.
” you are one damn stupid and selfish man James, you have denied your family some time and your wife sits there waiting for you to return home and yet you spend all your money on women you don’t even know. You are an idiot James. I don’t care how educated you think you are but this your behaviour makes you a fool instead of a man.” I said my heart out despising his stupid look.
” If you are man enough James, go back home to your wife, apologise for what you have done. Try to make up for the lost time. I can assure you no woman is different. We are all the same and am pretty sure the way you lust for me that’s how another man out there lusts for your wife.
And if you don’t change and man up am pretty sure she will seek for what you cannot give her” I added and grabbed my handbag leaving Jame standing like a monument his mouth open.
I bet he had not seen that coming. I had met up with him several times before getting to know him better and letting him shower me with his money and all my demands. Every time he would ask for sex I would give an excuse and postponed the act to another day.
That night I had assured him of a great time and I was so sure he was ready for me.
Seeing him all fumed and shocked made me feel so damn good I almost jumped with pleasure.
I unlocked my car and then decided to just give him one more detail. So I walked back in the lodge and found him now seated his hands holding his head as he looked down the floor.
” by the way, I used up about K15 000 of your money for nothing. I wouldn’t give you my body cause you are a damn selfish b******.
Your wife could have given you what you wanted from me for free!” I added patting his back.
” Thank you for everything James. And all the best in your marriage” I added and walked out my head held high.
Sitting in my car I held the steering and sobbed silently. The pain of my own failed marriage striking at me harshly.
I was still trying to get hold of myself when my phone rung. Checking the caller ID, I shook my head.
The only married man that I couldn’t deal with was calling me. My ex boyfriend. For him everything was so complicated I didn’t even know how I was going to work things out.
” Mike!” I responded composing myself.
” yes love, I missed you and am outside your house. I need to speak to you and if you don’t come out soon enough I will call your stupid husband and tell him am here for you” he threatened and I could hear his voice so calm. He was probably smiling knowing I would ran to him.
I knew what I was doing but the last thing i wanted was to have some family drama with Chris. I was sure if he knew of any man with me he would tell the entire family and hold meetings to shame me. That was the last thing I needed so I was trying by all means to play it cool.
” you are insane you idiot, how dare you. Am not home right now” I responded
” yeah I love you too you know, that’s why am giving you 10 minutes to get your beautiful self back here” he shouted and cut the line. .
” what a b******!” I cursed putting the key in the ignition. I had to see him before it was too late.


As I drove back home my heart was racing, Mike just had that effect on me. My greatest fear was not his threats but the fact that I couldn’t trust myself around him. Mike was my first love. We met way back when I was in secondary school. Mike was two years ahead of me.
We had a relationship that I would call ‘ crazy love’ when ever he knocked off from his school he would pass through Luanshya girls to pick me up then we would walk home together. Whenever they were some functions at any of our schools Mike would pay for both of us to go. We were neighbours and our families so close.
My parents knew him too but we played as ordinary friends whenever we were around them. I recall how, whenever I went to his house his mother would shout
” Mike come and see your sister has come” and my parents would do the same whenever he came home.
We would always make funny of it after wards laughing at how they made us sister and brother. .” One day these guys will be shocked when they know what we do away from their presence ” Mike would laugh.
” mnmmm am sure my mom knows Mike, she asked me about us and I have been trying to tell her the same lie that we are just friends and you help me with school work.” I would tell him.
” well, it’s even Better they know right?” He would smile holding me. ” after all when we are both out of school and we do some courses you and me are going to get married” he said proudly.
As time went by we were inseparable and I had deeply fallen for Mike. I didn’t even know I would end up married to another man.
I was lost in thoughts when my phone vibrated bringing me to the moment.
” am on my way Mike” I responded without looking at the caller ID.
” I dont have the whole day babe” he answered
” where are you now?”
“Am just passing Mashlands will be using the hybrid route to come to PHI.” I explained looking ahead as a vehicle overtook me.
” now will you let me drive in peace?” I shouted
” forget about coming here. Just get to Hybrid and you will find me parked by the station.” He responded.
I sighed as I cut the line. ” he’s crazy he will put me in trouble” I shook my head.
I found Mike parked and he directed me to follow his car leading me to Gonde lodge in Chelstone.
” come on give me some love babe, I missed you so much.” He hugged me after we parked.
” stop holding me like that Mike, people might see us am a married woman now” I complained
He let a small laugh. ” you call that a joke of a man as your husband.? You have no idea what kind of people that your stupid man hungs out with. He’s a jerk I wonder how you have managed to live with him for 5 years Babe.”
” stop talking about my husband Mike. I don’t like this you know that. Just tell me why you brought me here already” I struggled to push him away as my body desired to move closer to him.
” as long as i live you will always be mine Stella. Remember you promised me forever. I have not managed to love anyone else but you. I will not give up on you cause as far as am concerned you and me belong together Stella. Am the only man that makes you feel like a queen that you are. Come on babe don’t pretend you can’t feel me right now” he chuckled pulling me back to his chest.
” stop ! Mike please, you are a married man too. You got married and now have a family with your wife and two kids. Just let go of the past and be happy with what you have.” I spoke up my voice almost in a whisper as all this while he kept his gaze at me. His big lips partly patted reminding me of the times I would kiss them.
” mnmmm you are wasting your time if you think am going to buy that bulls***. The only reason I married that woman is because she got pregnant for me and you know why I slept with her in the first place ” he leaned forward placing his mouth on my ear. I moved back landing my back in his car.
” stop Mike please ” I murmered
” I will remind you Stella. It’s because the time I got back home to get to marry the only girl I loved. I found that she betrayed me and was marrying another man. You betrayed me Stella, you couldn’t wait for only 2 years I was away making our future.”
” I have already told you Mike. I didn’t know what to make of your silence. You never communicated. How the hell did you think I would feel and think of you.” I tried to defend myself.
” you should have trusted my word dammit! ” he shouted hitting the car angrily and making me jump a bit in fear.
” I made a promise to you and I kept it. What did you do? You ran into the hands of that clown. He doesnt even love you the way I do. ” he added his eyes displaying sadness.
I tried to talk him out of wanting to have me in a relationship with him.
” we cannot change things Mike, it’s over you have to move on” I cried looking at him.
” please go back to your wife and be happy. I don’t want us to keep fighting over this. What’s done is done. please” I begged
Instead of answering me, he excused himself and walked away heading to the reception.
I stood akimbo not knowing what he was planning now. Mike was so stubborn. Since he discovered were I was staying he made it his mission to follow me. He had even taken his time to follow my husband around getting to know the kind of person he was. After making his discoveries, Chris’ s behaviour did not help things. His obsession with me grew even stronger, he was determined to have me to himself.
I had tried to escape him and give him a million reasons why I wouldn’t see him but I bet my biggest mistake was to give him my line. He would text me at whatever time he wanted. I had to keep on deleting his love messages.
” okey let’s go!” Mike walked towards me holding some key in his hands.
” where are we going Mike?” I asked looking at him.
” come on babe you are not expecting us to stay out here right,” he said pulling my hand and walking to the rooms.
I walked behind him with every step I took feeling my self being drawn to my sin. I knew getting to some room with Mike was the biggest mistake but i let my body direct my steps.
Mike started unlocking the door and I kept my eyes on his moustache, the small scratch i remember he got from a soccer match in high school was so visible it made me smile in my mind. I moved my eyes up his cheekbone analysing his dark skin. Up to the eyes which looked so intense I feared looking in them was going to make me want to rush for him and kiss him passionately.
” are you coming in or you will stand out there looking like a lost person?” He spoke up making me look away sharply.
” of course” I cleared my throat.
” 5 minutes Mike say whatever you want to say and let me go home it’s getting late now and my husba…..”
Without letting me say my words out, Mike pushed me to the wall holding me tightly.
” let that b****** get the taste of his own medicine. Today you are with me and am not letting you go until am satisfied I have had enough of you.” He shrugged showing me the key and placing it in the back of his pocket.
” Mike ” i tried to say but he closed in reaching his thick lips to my mouth making it so difficult to breath.
My mind kept on Warning me it was wrong to be with another man when I was married to another. It scolded me and told me to leave immediately and save myself from sin, but my body had a different point of view.
” Mike stop! Please! ” I whispered when he let my lips go and started kissing my neck.
” we cannot do this please!” I closed my eyes.
he lifted my head and looked at my eyes.
” I can’t because I know you want me as much as I want you. Stop fighting it Stella. You know you feel for me and am the man for you, I have always been and now am back. You are mine Stella and I will always love you” he whispered as he worked his hands around my whole body taking his time as he went in my hidden parts making me moan in pleasure.
I don’t even remember how he got me from the wall to bed. The only thing I recall is feeling him inside me making me scream in pleasure as I held him closer to me.
He smiled all along taking his time and making some eye contact with me. Calling me all the sweet names he used to call me and driving me crazy as the pleasure increased.
I was lost in the arms of the man who wasn’t my husband and even the voice that had been whispering telling me to stop had ceased.
It was quite and all I could think of was the deep passion and intensity of what Mike was driving me through.
After what seemed like hours, we both fall back sighing and panting.
” tell me that husband of yours makes you feel like that?” Mike giggled looking at me.
I couldn’t answer him because I knew he would read through my lies. ” this can never happen again Mike” I struggled to talk.
He lay back smiling. ” you are mine babe and no one will take away what belongs to me. He has to kill me first” he said seriously and I felt my heart pump faster.
Now that I had opened myself to sin I knew the devil would use it as a way to push me further from God.
After being with Mike for 2 more hours I managed to beg him to go back home. I looked at my phone and it was almost mid night.
” oh my God, what If Chris is already home? Is he going to know I was with another man? What if he saw me drive in the lodge and saw Mike and I stand close to each other and later on enter the room?” Are some of the questions I kept asking myself as i drove closer to PHI where home was.
I stopped by the gate and sighed going to open it praying that Chris wasn’t home yet. ” Thank God!” I looked up as I pushed the gate open and found Chris’s car wasn’t inside.
I quickly went inside and took a bath. Replaying the moments with Mike recalling every feel of pleasure I had.
” oh my God what have I done? Am so in trouble” I thought to myself and went to bed wanting to be asleep the time Chris would get back. Hoping and praying he would be drunk so that he wouldn’t notice my guilty face.
I heard the gate opening and I shut my eyes to make me look like I was fast asleep.


I woke up that morning at 07 am. I had fallen asleep after I pretended to be sleeping. I heard Chris walk in the house and he didn’t come to bed.
It was a great relief for me cause I couldn’t have taken it having him so close. I started wondering how Chris felt. If I had cheated on him with another man once and all the guilty was piled up in my heart, how about him who did it everyday? I asked myself.
Instead of waking up to pray that morning as I always did, my conscience couldn’t allow me. I felt I had betrayed God and kneeling to pray would just make me more of a hypocrite than I already was.
I grabbed the bible and placed it right back shaking my head. I walked to the sitting room and found it empty, “where the hell did this man sleep then?” I whispered.
” of course” I sighed as I walked to the other bedroom. I pushed the door open and when I saw the two people curled up in the bed, my heart stopped for a bit.
” what the hell” I shouted standing in the door way.
I saw Chris move slightly,he opened his eyes and looked at me. ” please can you stop yelling? Your voice is too annoying. I don’t want you to disturb my beautiful woman here. She gave me the best night ever and she deserves a better rest” he whispered looking at me.
The thought of answering back came rushing in my mind but I pushed it back. I closed the door silently obeying Chris’s request to not wake his precious woman.
I felt betrayed, I felt useless and walked to the kitchen. Turning on the electric kettle as the urge to go and spill the whole lot of its hot content on the people in another room tempted me.
I lifted it when it stopped boiling and walked
Towards the room they were in. Pushing it slightly and staring at them. Chris was now on top of her kissing her as she moaned and held him close.
On second thoughts I sighed and closed back the door. I wasn’t going to give them the pleasure of enjoying the fact that I was being affected by them.
So I instead went in the bathroom, took a long bath as i kept on hearing them moaning and laughing. ” enjoy it you b******, I had my own share last night and I can have it any time I want” i spat angrily.
After dressing up in a simple boot cut Jean and a sleevless top I went to prepare some food for myself and the love birds. I wasn’t sure what was really going on in my mind right that moment. Someone would say I was being crazy letting my own husband in my matrimonial home with another woman.
Well, I guess I got tired of wishing him to change for the better. After all it doesn’t matter where he was doing it from he had been cheating on me for a number of years we have been together, so why give a damn now. After all , whatever I was to do, scream, insult them or whatever, he would simply find another woman elsewhere.
I hummed to a song as I set the table.
Preparing Chris ‘s favourite English breakfast. I checked to make sure all was set and slowly walked to the spare bedroom.
I knocked softly and Chris’ voice shouted back” what is it woman? Can’t you leave us in peace already?” He asked
” am sorry honey, just that I thought you people can come and have some breakfast. I have finishing setting the table”.
I waited for them to appear. After I heard them argue about whether the food was poisoned or not I heard their foot steps walk towards the dinning table.
” please take heart, I cannot kill my own husband with poison” i said looking at a short lady, light skinned and long brown hair. She was pretty but she didn’t make me envy her. Somehow I felt I was better than her.
” for better for worse right honey?” I teased looking at Chris who’s eyes kept on the table where food was.
” welcome to our home my dear” I smiled at the lady and she looked at Chris then back at me.
I was sure she was wondering what kind of a woman would be so calm when her husband had brought in another woman in their home.
” Thank you” she murmured shly.
” please feel at home. You have no idea how pleased I am to have seen you here. You know my husband and I have not been together for a long time and I was beginning to get worried that maybe something was wrong with him. Now that I heard him moaning and enjoying with you am so relieved” I added with a chuckle as Chris chocked himself with a cup of coffee to his mouth.
He looked at me sharply, his face getting so upset. He was almost saying something but I excused myself after grabbing a piece of sausage and my cup.
” please excuse me, I have to go. There’s someone i have to see this morning. Have a good day people” I smiled and walked to the kitchen.
It was silent for a while, then I heard spoons clicking and I smiled to myself ” remember no one beats my cooking you b******, you can not resist my food” I spat and went to the bedroom, grabbing my hand bag and car keys before heading out.
I drove around aimlessly, my mind was so loud I didn’t know how to put my thoughts together. In my heart the guilty I also cheated on Chris was so deep I didn’t know how to even get upset with him now that him and me were the same.
I called my friend Linda,
” boi where are you? Can i see you now?” I asked her when she picked the call.
” yeah sure come home boi, my mother was even asking about you. She will be happy to see you” she added happily.
” alright will be there in less than 10 minutes boi” I cut the line and drove to Kaunda square where my friend Linda stayed with her mother.
Her father died when she was still young and she was raised by her Aunty in Luasnshya were we meet years back .
After she found a Job here in Lusaka she had moved in with her mom in their family house. Linda was a very prayerful woman, she’s the one who encouraged me not to give up on my marriage and leave it all to God.
I however had not told her about my latest mission of playing a saviour for the married men. I definitely knew she was not going to support it.
” oh boi, am so sorry you are going through all that” she sighed when I finished explaining to him about what was happening home .
” oh my God how can Chris bring another woman in your matrimonial home?” She shook her head.
” I have no idea my friend, but am not going to wait up and watch him destroy my life. He’s gone way to far and this time am not going to be a stupid wife I have been. Am standing my ground and he will know better than mess with a woman.” I snapped wiping the tear that was threatening to spill over.
” oh no Stella I don’t like the way you are taking this whole thing. What do you mean you are standing your ground? Just remember vengency belongs to God boi just let God take care of all this” she held my hand.
I smiled sadly. ” I slept with Mike yesterday”
I told her without warning and Linda stood up shocked.
” No! You didn’t! ” she shouted
” yeah I did. I couldn’t control it boi and I so much enjoyed it. What do you expect? My husband does not touch me. He has not looked at me as a woman in I don’t know how many months. I fall yes, and i was guilty. But you know what? ” I let a small laugh, ” now I don’t feel a thing. In fact I want to go and have it with him again.” I told her while her mouth kept open.
I was sure she was binding the demon that had gotten in me.
” Jesus! Stella. Do you even hear yourself. ? You know how crazy that your ex boyfriend is. Don’t tell me you are going to tolerate him. This is not right and you know that.” She scolded me.
I looked at her and listened as she went on quoting scriptures and telling me to confess my sins and flee from temptations.
” Don’t give the devil a way, that’s exactly what he’s trying to do . Please I beg you in the name of God, don’t give in to the desires of your fresh” she held my hands.
At the moment I couldn’t even get to listen to her. I just nodded my head to make her stop talking.
She prepared lunch and we eat together as she told me about the pastor that had proposed to marry her.
” Well, some of us are trying to escape marriage, others are desiring to go in. Life is funny huh!” I laughed.
I couldn’t get back home that afternoon. I decided to take a turn and go to East park mall. I needed to avoid going home. Not knowing if I would stand Chris and another woman in my house any longer. After going round doing some window shopping I bought myself a cup of ice cream and sat outside hungry lion as I browsed through my phone.
Then it clicked, I had met a man a week before. A married man. I had to respond to his many missed calls over the days.
” helo!” I heard his voice on the other end.
” hey, sorry I had misplaced my phone in the house and I just found it this morning. I have just seen a lot of texts and missed calls.” I lied shifting in my sit like he could see through me.
” am so happy you called I couldn’t stop thinking about you gorgeous. So when can we meet?” He asked excitedly.
” find me at East Park” I informed him and cut the line closing it back.
” well now am officially a ” married and at the same time Single woman. Since married men need to be given the taste of their own medicine, then I will definitely give them the honour.” I smiled putting down the ice cream cup.
Story continues

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